A sleek, modern design is an excellent thing in a sex toy- so many look kind of atrocious, some even downright horrific. Call me spoiled, but I only want pretty toys in my cunt.

Good Vibrations sent me this adorable, Ikea-looking toy called the Cheeky Toyfriend, and I think it's a good example of a toy that looks playful and fun but also fresh and artsy. It even comes with its own stand so you can show it off! I mean, I can see this sitting on a desk alongside some Kid Robot toys.

The Cheeky Toyfriend is 6" long, and 1 3/4" at the widest point, coated with a blue velvety silicone texture, with a push button on the bottom that takes you through its 5 settings- 2 speeds, 3 pulsation patterns.

It's a fairly buzzy vibrator, with the ability to get a more pinpointed sensation by using just the tip (yep, I went there). It takes 2 AAA batteries, and is completely waterproof. Because of the shape, I wouldn't use it internally anally, because it doesn't have a flare, but I liked it for g-spot stimulation or for pinpointed vibration on my clit or nipples.

Don't forget to use water based lubes on this toy, not silicone, or you'll damage it! And to clean, use soap and water or a toy cleanser- no dishwasher for this one. ;)

All in all, this is a cute toy, good for discretion, people who go to MOMA, and people who like buzzy vibrations. Thanks for sending the Cheeky Toyfriend my way, Good Vibrations!

photo by the lovely Katrina!

Every year for the past few years, there's been a giant Halloween themed train wreck that was embarrassingly part of the SF October experience. Dubbed "the EEB" by those who suffered through providing entertainment for the frat boy masses, the Exotic Erotic Ball was, as one Yelper dubbed it, "like the balding bachelor trying to recapture his glory days as a quarterback." It was known for being a body fascist, "people only want to ogle female performer bodies", creepy men and occasional creepy women bypassing boundaries (often drastically) ickfest. 

Well, Exotic Erotic used to have wet dreams about being Masquerotica, which came into being after last year's EEB cancelled the day of and didn't refund anyone's money. EEB handed over the crown fairly sheepishly. O.o Buh-bye, EEB, we won't miss you!

photo by Julia O. Test!

It was epic! The decor was stunning (lots of Tim Burton-esque black and white shapes, crazy glittery flying mannequins), there were tons of things going on all the time to entertain and amuse, and almost everyone who came made an effort to dress up- more than just "sexy ____" women and "comedy ____" men. I was pleased to see hot eye candy of multiple gender identities there.

The music was rockin', and the dance floors were busy. The art gallery had some incredibly stunning pieces on display. The brothello was intimate and entertaining. Zombie strippers escaped from their quarantine. Vampires fed on Jesus. Onlookers were horrified/delighted by the "grope-a-klown" box. And the drumbeats from the camp jungle savages riled the blood. Like I said- epic.

I was one of the performers on the Vampire stage run by Kinky Salon, and it was a lot of fun! I went as a Claudia-esque vampire 5 year old, with a bib, feeding on my teddy bear. Adorable and kind of scary. I had a sexy doll-girl-pet to play with as well, brushing her hair, putting stickers on her face, ripping her neckflesh... awww. Precious!

photo by the lovely Katrina!

Hissing at the crowd was fun, too, as was sniffing people as I went from the stage to the performer area. And the blood was delicious.

My only :( was my girlfriend having a dude try to kiss her without asking (ew), a friend of a friend getting dosed (wtf) and I had a guy asking for a photo who then grabbed my tit. That said, I did turn my blood-covered face to him and hissed "ask first!" and he ran off. I think next time I'll just tell security and have them thrown out. Creepy ruins the fun.

BUT most of the people who shot photos were super polite, asking first and being respectful. I got a couple of people's cards for where I can get the images from, which is great! It sucks when loads of people take pics but then I never see them. So yay for documentation! I'll pepper this blog with photos as I have them.

If you missed it, you missed the start of something good.

I'll be there next year... with blood on.

Today is Fisting Day, a day started by sexy queer porn superstars Courtney Trouble and Jiz Lee to raise awareness for this pretty awesome sexual activity that's intense, intimate, and orgasm-inducing. While it's generally seen as a pretty queer act, my first fisting was with a male partner, and I've enjoyed fisting across the map of physical experience. I mean, even the Obamas know the affectionate power of fisting (in public no less! Dirty President). And yet it's almost always banned from pornography, because it's seen as damaging and violent- in the UK images of fisting are considered extreme pornography alongside things like knife and breath play.

This day, I was a Catholic schoolgirl, and my lover was a priest. My ass was reddened from a particularly vigorous palm (fire and brimstone, you say?) that had rained down on me from a long, squirmy over the knee spanking. I think the scenario was that I had been such an excellent student, but my attendance was flagging and my grades were down. The spanking was about discipline, not punishment... and I liked discipline, well, a lot.

I am normally pretty quick about reviews here at Purrversatility, but I've had one glorious product I've, erm, tried out, but not gotten to review yet, simply because I was waiting for someone else to come help me take photos of it.

Not that size matters, but this baby is rather big for me to take myspace photos!

However, at last I got fed up with waiting. And long overdue, here is my review of the fabulous Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo, Black Label, which I won from Babeland a while ago in a contest. They have been remarkably patient with me about it, for which I have to say a grateful thank you.

I had promised that if I won this toy I would take photos of me with it outside in my back garden, which sounded easy but ended up involving a lot of wrangling! The next door neighbor's dog was very confused as I did my little pinup shoot outside, but it was a gorgeous day for it.

Anyway, Liberator is known for making excellent, sturdy sex furniture. I used to have their Jaz cushion, a cute little version of the wedge that was nice but a little small for my *ahem* ample hips. Winning the wedge/ramp was like a dream come true for me! Not only is it two great pieces of comfortable sex cushioning, but it's also got some fun extras, which I'll get to in a bit.

The Wedge/Ramp Combo comes with the Ramp, a cushion that's 24" x 30" x 12". It's a big baby! This means that it offers some real support, whether you use it as a person with a disability to ease comfort during sexual activity, or for some sexy fat sex positions, or to try out some crazy kama sutra thing you don't have the flexibility for otherwise. I personally think it'd be great for threesomes, allowing for some comfortable oral while being fucked.

Then there's the smaller Wedge, a respectable 24" x 14" x 7". The Wedge is really great for tilting the pelvis for various sexual positions, making for easier access for anal play or doggy style sex, or making for a more comfortable experience when receiving oral.

Because of the material covering both of these cushions, a plush microfiber, they have some friction and so stick together remarkably well, making it possible to use both cushions in a variety of ways. You can be as creative as you like (and I can be really creative!)

The water-resistant cover on the cushion is easy to unzip and remove so you can machine-wash it, handy for people who are squirters (like I am!) I also like that I can just tuck them in the corner of my room and they don't look like sex furniture unless you know what they are- I just tell people that they're for yoga.

But that's not all!

These two pieces also come with some extra clip ons- a sex of 4 cuffs, a blindfold, and some extra tethers to add length when you need it for the cuffs. This version of the Wedge/Ramp Combo has clips on it for that you can use it for bondage, along with the usual uses. Yay!

The cuffs are vegan, soft, with a cute leopard print and Velcro fasteners that are surprisingly sturdy. They've got a lot of flexibility so are appropriate for everything from the slimmest wrist to the sturdiest ankle. You could experiment with using them for biceps, too, though thighs will likely be too big for them to handle! The blindfold is nicely padded and super comfortable, so you can restrain your lover on one of these luxurious cushions and please or torture them as you see fit. This makes the Wedge or the Ramp ideal for spanking, caning, or sensation play. Yum. And it also have 2 cuff connectors (to link your wrists and ankles to each other), 4 extenders (for more freedom of movement) and 2 tethers (for additional creativity). It's a complete mini-dungeon in one package!

Can I also just say well done Liberator for having a video of a female Dominant partner restraining her male submissive partner on these? Awesomesauce!

This black label Wedge/Ramp Combo is something I can't wait to get to know better. I think it'll be my new pickup line- "hey, wanna come to mine and check out my Liberator shapes?" I'm desperately sad I can't take these with me to Massachusetts! I definitely recommend these to anyone who would benefit from more comfortable body positioning, or for people who like to fuck outside (because the covers are washable and it makes sex outdoors very lush).

Thank you so much Babeland for giving me the opportunity to win this!

When I found out about NOW Foundation's Love Your Body Day, I got really excited. I've blogged a lot about body image; topics have ranged from fat politics (the good, the bad, the ugly) to sex and disability (emotional and physical), from the sexualization of children to the everyday nature of the male gaze, even in activist spaces. It's pretty important to me, of course, as it's deeply personal.

Going through the submissions to their blog carnival, there's a lot of excellent topics being covered. Of particular interest to me were ones relating to "sexy costumes", women of colour's struggle to see their skin as beautiful, the issues surrounding child beauty pageants, and how people with disabilities fight hostility and disgust when they leave the house. It's angering, but inspiring to see so many speaking out (though may I speak up briefly in defense of women who choose to get their breasts augmented- it doesn't automatically make them idiot pawns, ok? They do have agency).

But I also notice that they are mostly women blogging about body image. Charlie Glickman posted about "finding his ass" in a sweet post that made me smile, but I don't see a lot of discussion generally about body images and masculinity. In fact, "Love Your Body Day" is specifically described as being for women and girls:

Each year NOW Foundation celebrates Love Your Body Day to send a positive message to women and girls that beauty comes in all colors, shapes and sizes.

And that makes a lot of sense, frankly, as I feel like women do deal with a lot of body image related bullshit on a rather constant basis. But one of the things that I think will help fight against that is to acknowledge that men struggle with their body image as well- that this is an issue, not about rescuing female bodies from exploitation, but about fighting the capitalistic ideals that make all bodies into commodities with a value defined, not by the actual market, but the constructed one of the media.

Now, I am a sex worker who works a lot with people who have disabilities, though not exclusively, and works with a lot of people who are male-identified, though not exclusively. And body image issues are pretty prominent. They don't always say something immediately- sometimes it takes a couple of sessions before they start pouring our their worries that they're too chubby, or too skinny, or their hair is too thin, or their skin is too freckled. But as I was told on twitter, while men might not call it "body image issues", they definitely look at themselves in the mirror and wonder if they would be attractive to others.

Penny Barber wrote an interesting post about the male desire to be desired that's well worth a read- and I really liked this quote she quoted:

Describing her clients, Crane said, “Men really want to learn how to please women and our multi-faceted feminism has left them very confused about how to do that. I don’t think men want to buy women, I think they want to feel desired by them.”

The further you go from privileged groups, the more likely these issues exist, too, in my experience- not that middle class, white, cisgendered heterosexual men are at ALL immune to worrying about their sexual appeal (far from it, btw) but I do notice that men of colour, transmen, working class men and queer men are more likely to admit that they've been concerned about their attractiveness.

It's not really surprising, either, the number of men who have told me that it took them a while (or that they're still struggling) to see themselves as having sexual bodies. While women complain about there being so many incredibly stupid "sexy" costumes for women and girls (I love the feminist costume list), men don't really have sexy costumes that're... well, sexy. Sexiness for men is seemingly about being either hilarious or flamingly gay. This underlines an incredibly problematic idea- that women's bodies are to be consumed, and men are the consumers. By not creating space for male bodies to be sexualized, we do everyone a disservice by maintaining the status quo- one of the things that was an inspiration for the Andro Aperture Project.

Feminism has done a lot for me and my relationship to my body. It's not perfect, by any means, but there are websites, support groups, books and even fat-positive porn out there to support me, to help guide me through. But my boyfriend and the other men in my life don't have similar access to help them. Not only that, but it seems difficult for people hearing about these issues to know how to comfort and reassure the male-identified people in their lives. I feel like as long as the discussion of body love centers around female bodies, we're still focusing on female bodies, which is part of the issue.

Katherine on Feministing put it really well:

A mentor of mine a long time ago told me that if you stand on a chair and hold hands with someone standing on the floor, it’s a lot easier for them to pull you down to the floor than it is for you to pull them up on the chair. Feminists can’t win by only addressing female bodies, or by only including males in that they too shouldn’t hate our female bodies. Yes, we have experienced the effects of body hatred in different ways, compounded by the gendered power-structure of our society. But that doesn’t mean that men don’t experience body-negativity at all. By addressing only female body perceptions, we leave men on the floor. We need instead to create the tools to get them up on the chairs with us.

Yes yes yes. This. Body image is an issue that crosses ability, class, race, ethnicity, sex, gender, and orientation. It's a human issue, and I think the way to fight body fascism is through the respectful appreciation of the diversity we display.

Because ultimately, that is what's beautiful.

This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival.

So, this is part 2 of the review of sexy anal toys from MyPleasure- part 1 is here.

Eventually I had to break the news to my incredibly happy demo bottom that I needed to switch gears to the next toy, the Giger-esque Vibrating Waves. He was not initially convinced, frankly! Doesn't matter, this was a fabulous toy that my demo bottom was so happy with he begged to keep it.

The black silicone is really beautiful if somewhat alien with, again, those weird extra prongs. Those prongs make this a really good anal toy, however, easy to manipulate on yourself or a partner. That second prong will either press against your perineum or, if using as a g-spot vibe, your clit.

It's got about 3 1/2" insertable length, with a 1 1/4" diameter at the widest point, so not too crazy and perfect for anal fucking. In fact, I'd probably use this as a warmup toy for strap on sex.

It kind of comes with an extra toy, too- there's a little bullet vibe that slides into the toy, making it (and your partner) a quivering mess. In fact, the only frustration we had with this toy was the fact we had to hunt all over the flat to find a AA battery!

Again, being made of silicone means that you can clean it by removing the vibe and sticking the rest of the toy in the dishwasher, wiping it down with toy cleaner, or boiling it. Just be sure to use a water based lube- silicone lube will melt the toy and there will be sadness all around.

While the Love Bump was the perfect warmup for an eager boybutt, the Vibrating Waves broke my demo bottom into a drooling brain dead happy pile of boy. I think they're both excellent choices for different reasons and depending on your experience level!

I still have another one toy, the Vibrating Pleasure Probe, that my boy is going to get a taste of when I see him in a week and a half... ;) Seriously, the Intermediate Anal Pleasure Kit is a really good purchase, with the three silicone plugs AND a waterbased lube. It's well worth it.

Again, thanks MyPleasure for the chance to try out some of your toys in exchange for an honest review!

Today is Love Your Body Day, something I think is fantastic. Every day is a good day to love your body, inside and out- and yet generally the focus is not so much on loving your body for you, but rather preening your body for a lover or the world at large.

While pampering is something ladies have long been encouraged to do- bubble baths, spa days, massage, etc- it's generally focused on external appearance. Getting your hair done, a manicure, buying some new clothes. But I live in a bubble where pampering includes buying excellent sex toys, lubricants, and erotica- cause getting off is great for your body in multiple ways!

Sh! Women's Erotic Emporium is one such place out in London. Originally just one little shop in Hoxton, but now with another on Portobello Road, it's a cosy little shop where you can get a cup of tea while you browse. It's a shop where it's ok to flip through the books (they provide comfy chairs, too) and to try on the lingerie (I have a denim corset from there that's awesome and was very reasonably priced). It was the place I went for my lubes and condoms. They also do loads of classes and meetups there, from Cliterature to art exhibitions, from finding your g-spot to book launches- their Facebook pages (Hoxton and Portobello) are good for keeping you updated, as does their Twitter.

I really like that they now offer discounts to members of the sex worker union, and currently they're donating money to a breast cancer charity if you buy certain toys. They also donated clothes and goods to those affected by the London Riots- something I think is pretty right on. In addition, I also really like that Sh! makes their own strap on harnesses and dildos, making it a female-owned, female-run business through and through.

Sh! has kindly offered to let me do a giveaway here on my blog of one of their adorable goodie bags- and yes, they'll send it anywhere, so international entries are allowed! And people not in London can also order Sh!'s harnesses and dildos (among other things) online, so don't you worry.

The goodie bag prize includes: a bottle of Lush Liquid, a bottle of Lush Refresh toy cleaner, a bottle of Lush Touch, a Sh! Bullet, a Lurve Heart vibrating cock ring, a feather and a Sh! Tote Bag.

Here's the rules:

• Tweet about it once a day.  If you tweet, please be sure to leave a comment! It’s just easier for me to keep track that way. Make sure to include @kittystryker and a link to this post.

Ex: Pleasure is Pampering! @kittystryker @shwomenstore are teaming up-a giveaway that'll make you feel good inside and out. http://is.gd/GvYvCn

• Tell me what other products at Sh! that you would love to have (or already have and love).

• Follow me on Twitter (comment to let me know)

• "Like" Sh! on Facebook (comment to let me know)

• Follow Sh! on Twitter (comment to let me know)

• Follow my blog (comment to let me know)

• “Like” Purrversatility on Facebook (comment to let me know)

• Post about this contest on your blog, Facebook page, Tumblr once a day… (comment to let me know)

• Comment on my other reviews/posts, one comment per post but as many posts as you like (give a link)

• Put a link on your blog leading to mine (comment to let me know and provide link)

• For 5 extra entries, review Purrversatility at Alexa and let me know!

This weekend is Masquerotica, the first epic party for the Halloween season now that the body-fascist, incredibly sexist, doesn't-pay-performers Exotic Erotic is dead (hooray!). I'm really looking forward to the event, as it's got so much stuff going on that I'd want to go even if I wasn't performing! Mutaytor, Fou Fou HA!, the Porn Clown Posse, my Kinky Salon peeps, a sex worker area (yes!), all sorts of good stuff.

I will be going as a princess-y vampire little girl, with a sippy cup filled with blood and cascading blonde curls that I will shake about as I throw tantrums about who I get to eat now. Remember that hot couple from the Spanksticks review, Maggie and Ned from Meet the Mayhems? They'll be there too, as will basically a giant who's who list of the best the Bay Area has to offer.

It's gonna be crazy. Super Burner crowd, too, so while sexy will be there, it's not all that'll be there. AND best of all, costumes are mandatory! That should really help cut down on the frat-boy asshole behaviour. And no, a clown nose is not enough- there will be a Costume Disaster Team to help you purchase the things you need, though, if deemed unworthy. I'm actually really happy about that, because it does cut down on the lookie-loos. So YAY! Street legal, though, guys, so pasties and panties. And it's a second base party (if people are having sex then the ABC will take the permit away and we all go home, so behave). Finally? NO PHOTOS WITHOUT CONSENT. Which also means I will be happy and feel respected. MORE YAY!

If you don't go, you'll regret it, from the sound of things. This is being done by the people who do Sea of Dreams, which is equally epic and around NYE. So buy a ticket already!

Then, after that I'll be popping by Kinky Salon's XXX Haunted Funhouse on the Friday before Halloween. I fly out to MA the next morning, so come party it up with me and help me stay awake til the wee hours... ;) What to wear to that? I just don't know.

And then I'll be in MA with the boy (at last!). I'm really excited for that, because it's been 5 incredibly long difficult months and I miss him a lot. Also I owe him at least one punch in the chest. It'll be his birthday too (yay! He turns 26!)

I hope to meet up with Princess Kali from Kink Academy (soon to be reviewed on here, btw- and wow, just wow), Holly from Pervocracy (who has just written a piece, "Beyond Not Rape", that's AWESOME), and maybe even do a Safe/Ward workshop... on my own, in Boston. I'll keep you posted on that.

Eeek!

I love sticking things in boybutts. Love it! There's something about watching them lose all control over their movement, volume and power of speech that just makes me feel... well, really pleased with myself, actually!

So when MyPleasure asked if I could review a couple of their anal toys, I recruited a helper and went right to work. I'm that dedicated to my work. Aren't you proud? ;)

This is Part 1. Part 2 is here.

This first toy is the strangely-ray-gun-shaped Love Bump. I really want to make a holster for it, particularly a garter one- how fun would that be at a party? It's a lovely blue silicone, 4 1/2" long (about 3" insertable length) and about 1" around- a great starter toy for a boy whose eyes widen a little when he proposes anal and you say "you first". That little handle is the perfect size for a large bullet, too, if you want to make it vibrate.

The weird tail on the end is odd, but not personally off-putting. I kind of liked flicking it when the toy was in to make it vibrate. So did my demo bottom, who did not want to give this one up! I really like the handle on it, too, as it meant lube-y fingers could still easily manipulate the toy. There's some texture on the handle too that can add some extra stimulation.

You could use this vaginally, but I don't think the bumps work as well over the clit as they do on the perineum. For $15, though, I think this is a STEAL when it comes to silicone toys. It's perfect for massaging the prostate and it's easy to thrust in. Because of the ease of the handle I think people who have disabilities that make finger manipulation difficult could still easily use this toy, which is a win.

I got this as part of the Intermediate Anal Pleasure Kit, by the way, which has 3 silicone plugs and a small waterbased lubricant- you save $50 on it, so really, it's a steal!

Thanks MyPleasure for the chance to try out some toys in exchange for a fair review!

So apparently some dude has decided a great way to dehumanize women's voices support Occupy Wall Street is to make a blog: "Hot Chicks of Occupy Wall Street". But, guys, guys, it's cool- he's just trying to rally people to the cause!

I was watching one video in particular and commented to a friend, “Wow, seeing all those super smart hot chicks at the protest makes me want to be there.” He replied, “Hmmm… Yeah, let’s go with that.”

Feministe gives Stephen Greenstreet the lashing he deserves:

So I know I’m all humorless and feministy about this, and why can’t dudes just enjoy the view at a protest without some lady getting all salty about it? It’s nothing against beautiful women — beautiful women are fantastic! It’s the dipshit fratboy vibe of “Ohhh yeah, let’s go to this protest thing because there are hot chicks there, and then we can make a video where we sound kind of, like, deep, you know? Because we can like talk about community and stuff and how even though these hot chicks got us there, we realized that there’s something, like, important happening, you know dude? I’ll wear my favorite Livestrong bracelet.” It’s the idea that women are at OWS to be oggled by dudes, or to inspire some polo-shirted nitwit to Care About Something More [than titties] (TM). It’s that he’s taking pictures of women without their permission or knowledge and posting them on the internet as masturbatory fodder. 

Oh, oh! But when this is challenged by women, who call this out as patriarchal sexist privileged BULLSHIT, it's just us being insecure about our looks and waging war on straight male sexuality, says Zennie 62 over on SFGate:

It implies that women don’t go to protests or events, look at a guy, and say “He’s hot.” It paints any man who dares think of a woman in sexual terms as having a problem. It also smacks of some weird attempt to re-wire men just because Erin undoubtedly doesn’t like guys “hitting” on her and saying she’s hot. From what she wrote, I’d expect a punch in the groin if I said she was just plain good-looking, let alone “hot.”

What I’m sick and tired of are some people (and certain men included) who have declared war on straight male sexuality. The examples of this effort to desexualize society are rampant, and generally express themselves in blog posts like Erin’s.

He goes on to say that it's probably because she hates men of colour, and that old gem to dismiss women's discomfort with being objectified, oh, I dunno, constantly, by saying "they're just being complimentary".

Never mind that women are already dealing with sexual assaults within this protest. Oh, and they're being encouraged not to go to the police, either:

At a recent meeting of Occupy Wall Street's nonviolent conflict de-escalation group, those present discouraged protesters from going to police unless absolutely necessary.
"We'll get a lot more respect if we're able to handle it ourselves and not run to Mom and Dad and tattle," said Chilligan, 19, a Brooklyn resident who repairs computers for a living and goes by one name only.

You know what that reminds me of? The lack of discussion of sexual assault within the altsex scene, and the reluctance to support victims desire to charge their abusers. Not that I think getting the police involved should be the only option, but I certainly think that if someone wants to report their assailant, they should damn well be supported to do so.
One woman did a great chart about women, media and activism, comparing OWS and Slutwalk, but then commented on the Feministe article:

When I did my chart comparing the sex of photographers at Occupy Wall Street versus SlutWalk, I was thinking it said more about SlutWalk than it did about OWS. And certainly this guy is an outlier; there isn’t a gross voyeuristic air down at Liberty Plaza. But it’s a sad reminder that even when the numbers don’t speak to the ways women are being looked at as objects while in the midst of political acts, we are, we are, we are.

Also, another excellently thought out comment about this issue from Thomas:

The reductiveness of attractiveness in patriarchy. Nobody stops listening to Ryan Gosling or George Clooney while acknowledging their fuckability; it’s merely another feature of them, because the members of the dominant group in a kyriarchal structure gets to be multifaceted. So a man can be fuckable and not be a sex object and not be ignored, erased, reduced … objectified. And conversely, the absence of attractiveness in men doesn’t mean that nobody will listen to what they have to say. Men don’t have to be fuckable to get attention, and if they are fuckable, that doesn’t draw all the attention away from everything else about them.

It's incredibly frustrating as a femme activist, and just as a femme generally. But it's an important reminder that activism is not safe space unless we construct it that way and maintain it:

The most offensive and astounding line of argument appears when you routinely inform us that you are not sexist, that you “respect women”.  Well, as the women you are claiming to respect, let us tell you this: it is not up to you to determine whether or not you or other men are sexist. If we are offended by a sexist comment, act, film, song or cultural product, you have absolutely no grounds to tell us why we should not be.  As the victims of sexism, we define, describe and delineate it.  In preventing us from doing so, you make a psychologically and politically difficult task almost impossible.

So, please. Don't make things worse, k? If you want to tear down capitalism, you have to be aware of the rest of the types of oppression that hold it up- classism, sexism, racism, cissexism, heterosexism. I think the Sistas of Resistance said it best in their letter to male activists, though female activists should read it and hold to it too (including making space for men to take on different roles):

Listen to us when we speak, listen to our criticisms, listen to our experiences.  Stop defending sexism, stop defending men, stop defending yourself.  Do not interrupt women when they speak and stop immediately disagreeing with us.  When it comes to sexism, you are not under attack, women are.  We are under attack from this patriarchal male power structure all day, every day, and we need activist spaces to be safe and respectful places in which women are treated as equals.  You will not win without us, so it is in your interests to work with us as equals.  You can create these spaces of equality by actively challenging sexist gender roles, by taking over the chores and actions typically still carried out by women: washing up, cooking, making tea, cleaning, tidying up, looking after children, doing the food shopping, providing emotional support, washing and drying clothes, emptying bins, sorting recycling, listening to people, caring for the sick, etc. Make sure the male to female ratio of speakers, facilitators, participants or chairs is always 50/50.  Take the minutes at meetings, type up e-mail lists and take over the other menial administrative tasks still disproportionately done by women. Become aware of what the women around you are doing, feeling and experiencing and help and assist them however you can. Notice the male-female dynamics in meetings, on demonstrations and in conversations and actively address this imbalance. Do not attribute the hard work and ideas of the women in your organisation to men; stop taking the women in your organisation for granted. Incorporate an awareness of gender and feminism into your everyday life; for if you want to bring about revolutionary change, you must begin with yourself.

And, you know, there's better ways to show the diversity of #OWS without objectifying people, and it's pretty goddamn effective.